the quarantine diaries #1

I've been keeping a journal of my isolation days but not sharing it on here and I'm half inspired by reading Frida-Reg('s?) online journal to share with you a daily account of my days; because some of you might be that bored: plus I am that bored.

Today I've spent most of the day scrolling depop and furiously googling lemon yellow towelling tracksuit bottoms. Sometimes I get these ideas in my head of outfits and this morning I had a vision of my future self. It's few months from now, strolling the streets of some nameless city wearing platform sandals and lemon yellow trousers that sit perfectly at the hip- not too high not too low. Of course in my vision my waist is snatched and my abs are perfectly toned from all the Joe Wicks P.E sessions that I've been virtually attending from the decking in the garden.
Nevertheless I couldn't find the pair of trousers; which left me feeling kind of deflated.
The other day I found a bookmark that my late grand-dad made for me and it reads:
"The sun does not shine on both sides of the hedge at once." 
In adjusting to this new period and new 'forced' environment, I find myself restless in chasing the past or dreaming about the future. I think blissfully of days in the sun, coffee with friends and those summer pub evenings which I had envisioned and of which were getting me through my winter blues. Yet here we are, with nothing to look forward to but the day that this ends? And it is so uncertain. We have to learn how to ride this new wave of uncertainty. The thing is, life can feel so certain sometimes and that's a pretty scary feeling too.
So maybe it's a good thing I couldn't find the trousers, because you've got to enjoy the sun in your own back garden first.